IT’S been another busy month on the Forest Machine Operators Blog. Let’s start with a good old-fashioned rant, shall we?
Posting a video from the woods (directed to ‘the gamekeeping fraternity’), one operator said: “I just wondered if there are indeed any gamekeepers on this forum. If there are, this is a message for you. First of all, I’d like to tell you what I like about you.” That’s a nice way to begin. “Which generally starts with f– all.” Oh. “And secondly, you might think you’re the custodians of the said piece of the countryside that you choose to put your pen in. But maybe when you’ve finished using it as your desired killing grounds (I’m not against pheasant shooting, you know, whatever), instead of just treating it like a landfill, you could take your shit with you. And then I wouldn’t have to spend all of my time and effort clearing up your shit.”
Swinging his phone around to give a panning shot across the woodlands, he revealed the detritus left behind in the wake of a shoot, including piles of fence posts, wire, cables, feeding troughs and containers – even a 1,000-litre IBC storage tank.
“And this is just the tip of the iceberg,” he said. “We’ve done four pens like this! Dear oh dear. Sort it out! You can’t just leave an IBC in the forest! Fly tippers, that’s what I call you!”
He received a lot of sympathetic responses from the Blog.
“Don’t get me started with bloody gamekeepers,” said one. “Nightmare on the last job! His birds were more important than my sanity.”
“They are like children, taking toys into the woods and leaving them there after they have had their fun,” said another.
And even more damning: “They’re the worst things to ever happen to the countryside! I’m not opposed to shooting, but killing everything in sight for a few birds – ridiculous. If they don’t move it, run it over.”
Plenty of members seemed to have similar stories of encountering discarded game-keeping in the forest, but what especially riled them – more than fencing or storage containers or feeding troughs – were nails.
“Don’t know how many old pens I’ve come across in woods and you didn’t mention all the nails they’ve twatted into the trees either,” one member said.
Referring to keepers using trees as fence posts, another commented: “F– off with the nails! Cable tie the netting round the tree or a strap! Far less hassle.”
Another said: “I work in forestry and am a shooting man myself and I know what you mean, mate. It’s bad and does annoy me as well. The amount of times I’ve just been and sharpened my saw and then hit another nail literally 30 seconds later!”
A forester from Canada enquired: “So you guys raise up pheasants in pens and then release them on hunting day?”
“No, we aren’t American,” a Brit replied. “They go out into those pens at around seven weeks old and are slowly released over the next four-ish weeks to effectively live wild, but fed to specific areas. By the time they are shot they will be over 20 weeks old and mature birds.”
The Canadian said: “I hate to break this one to you, but there are lots over here. We just shoot them. No need to pet them first.”
The Brit replied: “No, there are wild ones too. Some shoots only shoot wild birds. But we have bigger organised shoots than I think you do, so a lot of places would shoot 150–200 a day between eight or nine guns.”
Not all comments were sympathetic (nor would you expect them to be, on a freewheeling Facebook forum with over 40,000 members).
Said one: “The job was priced with the pens there, ya nob! Blame your boss, ’cause you’re definitely not a boss!” Ouch.
And one more: “Your helmet is probably out of date.” Double ouch.
It is interesting, however, what you can find in the woods. And not always abandoned gamekeeping materials, fly-tipped fridges or the remnants of occult rituals. There can be good things, too.
A member in Ireland posted a picture to the Blog of an old Zetor tractor he’d found in the undergrowth – and when we say old, we mean old. Or should we say ‘vintage’? Or perhaps ‘classic’?
“I’d say it could be got for nothing as well,” he said. “The landowner said it’s going for scrap shortly.”
Responses were incredibly enthusiastic – whether from those enthusiastically encouraging him to snap it up, enthusiastically enquiring whether they could get their hands on it, or enthusiastically urging him – and everyone else, for that matter – to run for the hills.
“Great old machines! Throw some oil in it and it would most likely run again!”
“Where and phone number please? I’ll buy it as is!”
“They were only fit for scrap when new! Do yourself a favour and let it go.”
“Great, reliable engines in them. Unfortunately, the brakes have a reputation of being non-existent no matter what you do to them. Had a few moments of near-death on one.”
“Just leave it there. You will go on to have a happy life. I’m sure your wife will agree.”
Said one member: “There are a good few Countys, Matadors and Highland Bears parked up all around different woods. They might look like scrap to a lot of people, but they’re not. A lot of lads have more than one machine and leave them in the woods, till they come there again. Sometimes years. I know of a good few, as does anybody working in forestry.”
We get the temptation to snap up such a machine. In the current climate, the market for second-hand tractors, harvesters and forwarders is heading in only one direction. And the interest is palpable.
Another post on the Blog went as follows: “Got a mate who’s not on Facebook considering taking the plunge and getting a used harvester. From what he’s told me £50 k is probably the max he would want to spend. What’s out there, please?”
This was from an experienced, highly engaged member with a fair idea of the kind of responses such an enquiry might receive. So he added some disclaimers:
“It’s not for me. I’m not looking for opinions on what £50 k will buy him. Simply asking what’s out there for a friend.”
Nevertheless…
“Keep the money in the bank. He will make more money.”
“Don’t go there! We got one for £50 k thinking they weren’t big payments and we could make it pay. It was a nightmare! The cost of the parts, the downtime – it just doesn’t look good. We got rid and went nearly new and never looked back. Better pay more and get on!”
“If you want reliability and consistency, you’re going to have to drop near double that and the most important thing is backup service and parts availability. If you don’t buy from a dealer, unfortunately you’ll be on the bottom of the pile for backup. That’s just how the world works.”
“It will be a £50 k yard ornament with how things are going. Tell him to keep it in the bank.”
“Keep your money. A £50 k harvester be down more than going. Make more money on end of a chainsaw. Big men are struggling, never mind a new start with junk.”
“If he can wait a couple of months till we’re all f– ed, we’ll be giving them away.”
“Tell him to leave it in the bank. Safer.”
“Arrange counselling for him.”
One member who couldn’t take any more finally exclaimed: “Jeez! All these people giving their opinion! The man said in the post he is looking for a machine – NOT opinions!!!!!”
But we don’t mind. Gives us something to write about. To keep up with the latest chat and share your own opinions, check out the Forest Machine Operators Blog on Facebook.
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