MAYBE – just maybe – we’re a bit biased, but we reckon forestry is one of the best jobs in the world. Whether it’s the trees, the peace and quiet, the machines, or the people, it sure beats the rat race. Until recently, we had just assumed everyone believed the same. 

Well, at least we were sure that was the case, until we read one particularly bemusing episode on the Forest Machine Operators Blog page last month. 

READ MORE: Bites from the Blog (December 2022): Discussing Confor's new scheme

Sharing some pictures from a stunning English woodland, one contractor wrote: “We always seem to end up on the shady side of the hill in winter.

“A bloke who ‘worked’ with us for a short spell chokering and wasn’t up to the job, headed down to his car murmuring: ‘You can take your job and stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine’. 

Forestry Journal: Jamie FosterJamie Foster (Image: Bites)

“Well, here we are!”

So, let us get this straight. The fella was working in wonderful surroundings doing a job many people would love to, but, for whatever reason, had had enough? 

We almost can’t believe it – nor could members of the blog, who shared their own disappointment at it all. Tellingly, few seemed to be the least bit surprised, given the struggles faced by many in finding people content enough to get their hands dirty. A report on all the reasons suggested for this would be enough to fill Forestry Journal three times over. 

“Finding people who will do a day’s work is not easy these days,” replied one operator. Others agreed. 

“Difference between men and boys.”

“Can’t believe there are still folks who can’t stand work.”

One operator, while shocked at someone willingly giving up cash in this day and age, did point out: “I was on this site on Wednesday afternoon with my colleague for a site visit.

"The site was well set up, immaculate and run very professionally. Very impressive.

"However, it was bloody cold.”

With his tongue firmly in his cheek, another member suggested this was no bad thing. 

“Frost’s good – it keeps the midges away.” We suppose he’s not wrong there! 

Speaking of bugs, they can often be one of the most annoying problems faced out in the woods – and midges are usually the least of these concerns. 

Another post last month was more horror film than comedy, however, when one operator shared footage from inside his cabin. At first glance it looked idyllic, but all was not as it seemed. A black blob appeared to be snaking its way across his dashboard, much to his shock. 

“I’ve been invaded!” 

On closer inspection, the blob turned out to be a horde of some sort of midgie-like creature. Members quickly turned Attenborough as they tried to get to the bottom of it.  

“They’re like ‘Thunder Flies’ that we got on the farm at some times,” one suggested.

“They’d block the air filter, you’d not see them then they’d be everywhere, the next day they were gone!”

“A lot of flies – as well as wasps – will find small crevices to lay up for the winter, and when you put the heater on they warm up and think it’s spring.” 

That makes a lot of sense to us. However, one operator offered a more definitive solution to the issue. 

Forestry Journal: Ruairidh JohnstoneRuairidh Johnstone (Image: Bites)

“I’ve had the same problem. Bloody nightmare – get the fly spray out.” 

Of course, the blog is often where the world’s operators go to ask for help (and more on this later), but it’s always a space for a good moan. Be it about the public – it’s usually about the public – or the powers that be, some themes never seem far away from the ire of the blog. 

However, every so often some poor soul does something to set another driver off. As was the case last month when one operator – at the start of an early shift – found his machine in a less than satisfactory state. 

Forestry Journal: Greg LothianGreg Lothian (Image: Bites)

“It’s not the hardest job in the world to fill a machine up and tighten a few pipes and bolts up and clean windows for the next driver to see out of them,” he moaned. “There’s some lazy c**** in this forestry job now.” 

The post drew a mixed reaction. 

Some agreed with the sentiment, with one writing: “The very reason I’d never double shift a machine.” 

Another added: “Always one. Just can’t get the staff.” 

However, others suggested the comment would have been best left unsaid. 

“Moan, moan, moan – that’s all you machine drivers do.” 

“I’m sure there’s better ways to sort the issue than moan all over Facebook.”

To that last point, the original poster did respond with a fair reply: “When you’re paid by the tonne to take out timber, the same rate as the previous driver, you don’t want to be doing half their job as well as your own.” 

Forestry Journal: Richard DohertyRichard Doherty (Image: Bites)

Hard to argue with that. 

But, we did say the blog remains one of the best places to get advice on all things forestry, and so a final post last month proved. 

Asking members which ear defenders with built-in radio/bluetooth were best for using when doing firewood, one contractor was inundated with helpful tips. 

These ranged from some that went straight to the point – 3m Peltor WorkTunes and Sony’s WH-CH710N were both mentioned – to members’ mini reviews. 

One member noted: “I’ve had some Stihl Dynamic BT Ear Protectors for three years and really rate them. Mainly used when driving a cableless tractor or running a log splitter.

Forestry Journal: Valram LillakasValram Lillakas (Image: Bites)

“You get about three work days without needing to recharge.” 

While another was also full of praise for Stihl’s offering. 

“Had the 3m, now have the Stihl. Think the Stihls are better and great value for money.” 

To keep up with the latest comments or to get stuck into the debate, head to the Forest Machine Operators Blog on Facebook.